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The 800 Pound Girl

16 Feb 2010

The other day I was at The Toy Factory with my youngest son, and we were so lucky to witness a 4-year old girl totally dominate her parents. Apparently the parents wanted to leave – they were standing with both doors propped open and were pleading with the little girl to follow. She stood her ground and was screaming and stomping – and they were pleading and using their nice voices… this went on for a while… AHH!!! I couldn’t believe it! She did not look like she weighed 800 pounds, I think my son could have lifted her up – I could not figure out why these parents did not pick up their pride and joy and exit.

Am I doing something wrong? I hurt my kids feelings all the time, they don’t get their way unless approved. They seem happy, but I wonder if deep down they want to be able to throw it down in the middle of a store. I don’t need to ask them permission, although I know they would really like that. I’m the parent and I need to look out for them and help them make good decisions – even when that is sometimes difficult for me.

I just can’t stand to see parents negotiating – pleading – begging with their child to get them to behave. Why not simply tell them to either change their behavior or there will be a consequence? I have found that the consequences do not even have to be big, but something that makes them realize continuing with this behavior is not acceptable.

Set boundaries. Life with children is so much easier with boundaries. Parents, you set the boundaries and the children will be much happier and I will be a lot happier not having to witness your child dominate you in public.

What do you think?

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From → Kids

  1. This is one of my biggest pet peeves. One time I was standing in line behind a woman who had about a 4 year old child tugging on her pant leg, screaming and crying for something…and she flat out ignored him. She just stared straight ahead, pretending he wasn’t there. I felt sorry for the kid because it was apparent that this is a normal occurence.

    My daughter learned early on how to behave, and I use that same technique you do. It keeps us all happy.

    • I feel for kids that are ignored, don’t you just want to grab one of those gossip mags in the rack and smack the parent with it?

      • Yes. I was watching it thinking that the kid is going to grow up with so many issues. Sad.

  2. Trina permalink

    Children crave boundaries. Fact. The world is a big, unfamiliar (and sometimes frightening) place to a child, and it is comforting for them to know that someone else is in charge, even of their own behavior and emotions sometimes. Anyone who thinks they are doing their child a favor by indulging him or her is deluded. I completely agree with you on this one, Jim.

  3. My daughter is 15. She has had boundaries all her life, quite lenient ones. She still asks if it is OK to go out, if it is OK to move somewhere different to where she was originally going. She tells me where she is going and who with, if it changes she calls. You don’t have to be a tyrant to set boundaries. Just let them know where they are. I would never let the above situation happen. If you want an extreme of that look at this news item

  4. that you recognize this as negative (rather than “oh, kids will be kids!”) is a MAJOR reason your kids behavior is what it is… I always say I don’t know how my parents did it, but we (brother and I) NEVER acted badly in public (well, rarely ever, anywhere). and it was not from fear of discipline or memories of past discipline, we just knew it was not the right way to be.

    we have chosen to not have kids (and we enjoy our friends kids!!); however our dachshund is very well behaved…

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